Thatsafrotastic

You know that feeling kids have, that impatience to grow up, to finally be “an adult,” to have freedom and independence? I remember being exactly like that. I couldn’t wait to make my own choices, live my own life, do things my way. But now that I’m actually here, living the adult life… sometimes it feels like the opposite. Some days I catch myself wishing I could borrow just a little of that childhood simplicity again, the spaciousness, the lack of responsibilities, the way time felt endless.

This past week felt like a paradigm shift for me. Not dramatic, not loud more like one of those quiet internal realisations that hits you when you finally stop rushing. I slowed down. I rested. And in that stillness, I learned something I didn’t even realise I’d been avoiding. I needed boundaries. Real ones. Healthy ones.

Empathy is such a beautiful gift. It lets us feel with people, understand them, connect deeply. In a world that often feels rushed and disconnected, empathy is one of the few things that reminds us we’re still human.

But here’s the thing I had to face: empathy also has a shadow side.

When you’re naturally the “helper,” the listener, the one people come to with their worries, it’s easy to start carrying their emotional loads as if they’re your own. And when it’s not just one person but several over long periods of time, that weight builds quietly. You don’t notice it at first. You just keep giving, keep supporting, keep saying yes.

Until suddenly you’re emotionally exhausted. Not physically tired but drained in a way that sits deep in your chest.

That’s where I found myself: compassion fatigue, anxiety, lethargy. compassion fatigue.

I had to admit to myself that I was carrying too much. And that I wasn’t meant to carry it all.

This week, I made some difficult decisions. I had honest conversations with people I care about. I slowly stepped back from being the “always available” person. Not because I stopped caring but because I finally realised that caring without boundaries was costing me my peace, my relationships, my creativity, even my spiritual grounding.

And when I finally said “no”… When I finally said “not today”… When I finally gave myself permission to rest…

It felt like a weight slid off my chest.

I could breathe again.

With that space freed up, I started reconnecting with the things that make me feel alive.

I went out with friends and for once, I wasn’t the therapist at the table. I laughed. I joked. I enjoyed a two-way conversation. I even treated myself to fine dining after almost five months (which is wild because I love fine dining).

I explored neighbourhoods old and new soaking in different cultures, traditions, and experiences. I reminded myself that the world is bigger than my thoughts, bigger than my worries, bigger than the emotional loads I sometimes carry.

And I learned. I always love learning it’s one of the things people often comment about.

Life is just so beautiful when you give yourself the space to actually live it.

After slowing down, resting, and reconnecting with myself, I feel fully recharged. My batteries aren’t just topped up — they’re renewed. And now, as I step back into the office, I’m returning with clarity, purpose, and a vision for the next six months.

It’s amazing what rest can do when you stop treating it like a luxury and start treating it like a necessity. rest as a skill

If you’re a helper, a giver, an empath I know how hard it is to say no. I know how natural it feels to carry other people’s burdens. But you can’t pour from an empty cup. You can’t keep giving when you’re depleted. And you definitely can’t fix someone who isn’t ready to change.

So give yourself permission to step back when you need to. Give yourself permission to rest. Give yourself permission to choose yourself.

Empathy is a gift, but it’s not meant to cost you your wellbeing.

Thatsafrotastic, what a treasure it has been to me. I remember first time creating this site, and how excited I was sharing recipes, photos and inspiring others to develop a positive relationship with food which, I still aim to do. However, something has come to my attention that I just can no longer seem to ignore. Moving forward, a part of this space I would like is to connect with the people by talking about life experiences, challenging topics such as mental health, vulnerability, accountability which can be very hard topics to talk about (This has already started and have loved the community of supporting one another everyone seeing the need for community). This is something very hard for me because I am a very private person which people might be surprised that I am moving towards this direction. The reason why I am moving towards this direction is to create authentic connection with regards what people may be going through that we may always want to express. As amazing as Social Media can be, the noise, obsessive ‘me culture’, consumerism, hiding behind vulgar and abusive language is not helpful towards our mental health which has led me to follow only the people who I truly find authentic connections rather than over curated photos and we have no idea behind the scenes. Nothing is wrong if you only want to show your best life. For me, sharing the highs and lows with the people I care about is something that matters to me, makes me human and is a part of life which I believe generates sincere connection with others. As much as I love food photography, sometimes, I just want to show the realistic side of how a photo is even though this may not be deemed as instagrammable. I will still take great food photo, however focus and purpose has changed. I would ask myself a deeper question, what is reason why I am posting and sharing this? To get the approval of others, to show how great my life is? Something for all of us to think about.

It is an unfiltered post and it feels raw even as I am typing this. However, I feel like it needed to come from the heart and hope people can also feel this. With AI which is great an interesting especially chatbots, there something about writing from the heart which a machine cannot replicate in my opinion which I sometimes take the risk of being vulnerable and writing this way, because I know someone out the would be thinking the same way.

I believe reflections with the right mindset and purpose can be insightful that could be an inspiration for others. As I am getting older, the way how the world views success is not that version for me. Today is a new day where I am embarking on a new journey that brings me a sense of purpose and joy which I hope can radiate to others. With the chaos and the noise that people are experiencing we need each other and build a sense of community which is a word that has been resounding in my mind.